control and I became lovers the summer that kelly friedman was crashing in my bed. That was my best summer in albany, I had just figured out the difference between art and teenage vomit and I was spending a lot of time naked and stoned. I'm very fond of this memory, cleansed me of my previous history and allowed the foundation to be laid for the mutations that were on their way.

time to once again reassess history, there's shit that need rewriting, other shit that needs purging with a thorough enema.

what stays:
I am still the princess of sweden and no one can take that away from me, not even face book
art
Fucking

the first item on the list is delusional, the other two are just vague but that's certainly where I'm at. I need to figure out how to reconcile the me that I was with Erin, and the me that I was before and am going to be after. this make me sad just thinking about and not only a little because I've been left on very uncertain ground in terms of my identity. How do I reconcile three years of sexual ambiguity and amorphous gender presentation with the fact that I just spent two years in a totally hetero-normative relationship... I can't write about this any more right now, I'll just make myself sick over it.